Song Of The Day 3/9/2017: Built to Spill – “Big Dipper”

The Final 21

"Hi. My name is Colin. And I'm a songwriter. I was wondering if I could jam with you guys?"

Our second Wonder Woman show didn't get nearly as much respect as the first. And I think that's a load of crap. The second show was the one where we defied time, space, dimension, and a couple of strongly-worded writs. We didn't just do someone else's show. We played all night, like that KISS song.

We pulled no punches. We took a single microphone and placed it on a stand in the middle of the student union, which was deserted because it was about 11 o'clock at night. We ran the cable all the way from the middle of the floor to about 70 feet away from the nearest input. About every 15 minutes I'd go out of the studio and up to the lone mic and scream, "TED NUGENT METAL THUNDER!" Despite the fact that Nugent wasn't metal nor particularly thunderous.

Our buddy Scott, of whom you'll be hearing more about a little later, had come in for a couple of songs at the very beginning but had to leave. However, Brooks forgot to give Scott money for gas so he could get home, in his apparently very low-fuel vehicle. So after he left, Brooks started a song called "Scott." I believe the lyrics came down from heaven through Brooks' mouth like this :
Ooooooooh Scott
I'm sorryyyyyy I forgot
To give you moneeeeeey for your gas
I don't thiiiiiiiiiink you've got enough to last
You're gonna die
At least the song had a plot. "Duckies" was just a muddled cry for acceptance.

The other special thing about the second Wonder Woman show was the drop-in appearance by a presumptive student at Evergreen. I can still remember him like yesterday. He was a little sweaty. He had shoulder-length hair and pasty, olive-hued skin. He looked as if he had been taking some sort of substance but had a hard time figuring out what orifice it needed to go in. If he wasn't so lucid and present during the show, I would have thought he was kind of screwed up.

But he wasn't. He came in through the front door at KAOS with a guitar case in hand and said, "Hi. My name is Colin. And I'm a songwriter. I was wondering if I could jam with you guys?"

Well, I don't know about you, but I feel music is power. And not the kind of power that involves plutocracy or shell casings or highly slanted news tracts. I believe it's for everyone. For those who hear the call of the Orpheus across the ocean as he descends into his lament, music is an untamable force that should not be funneled into the hands of a few privileged Elites.

So we let the motherfucker sit in.

Colin was actually pleasant company and a good sport besides. Sometime in the fourth hour or so he got up the nerve to do a cover of "Proud Mary," and was amused and not pissed off that we all ruined it with our background vocals. We put "Proud Mary" on the B-side of the "Scott" cassingle. Pressings were limited.

Wait, There Was a Fourth Show, I Just Remembered

I just realized: Wonder Woman had two more shows after this one. Well, one and a half. The last one was kind of a mess of Wonder Woman-like influences. I’ll get back to that one.

We did one show in front of a live audience, for an event called “Olypalooza.” I believe Arrington de Dionyso and The Sandman were also part of this show. I also think it was a benefit.

Wonder Woman had zero rehearsals for this show. You can’t possibly have thought we rehearsed. But the lineup was all original members, plus Toby, I believe.

I remember it mainly for what Brooks and I wore. Brooks went drag with a bra and a neat skirt. I was in a Sgt. Pepper type jacket that was at least two sizes too small. There are pictures of this event which I think tell a more accurate story than the songs we did.

I also did a solo set. But I don’t remember it. I had a drinking strategy for the night that was a little off: I alternated full cups of coffee with cups of beer. The net effect was that I was really pumped for the show but couldn’t remember a thing about it the next day. I did an original song called “Motorblow,” which Brooks likes. Because of my compromised yet lucid chemical state, I was inspired to do a long monologue telling the story of the song (it was about a car crash I had the privilege to be in) that I hear was hilarious.

The final Wonder Woman show was the final episode of the first run of Shrug Fest. I believe most members were there, although Phan and Ricardo might have sat it out. In their places were Ian and Greg, who was about to ascend to program director at KAOS (and I believe is the only one of any of us to score a real radio job after graduation).

The one thing I know for sure about the last WW show was that it contained our rendition of “The Sensitive, Non-Heavy Metal Goat.” This was something Ian cooked up. It had something to do with satanism, which we just free-associated with being related to cloven-hooved animals. Honestly, it’s not too hard to imagine how that association would play itself out. Describing it would take too long.



And that is about it for the history of Wonder Woman. We have thus far rebuffed all offers to reunite. But I'm not sure how much longer we can hold out. Rob needs that operation and I wanna go to Europe.

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