Song Of The Day 8/4/2016: Barry Manilow – “Copacabana (At the Copa)”

Week Of Lies VI –

The Copacabana
135 reviews
New York, NY 10036
Theater District, Hell's Kitchen, Midtown West


Amber S. Staten Island, NY (2 stars)
Sooooo disappointing. I came here with my friends from Jersey City and everyone agreed it was the saddest, most depressing Latin club we've ever been to. Overpriced and weak drinks. Ridiculous $10 charge for a coat check! Plus this skeezy old lady was sitting in the back the entire night looking at an old photograph... I'm like, bitch don't kill my vibe. The pastel was tasty, but will not return.

Justin P. Sunnyvale, CA (2 stars)
Can you say "sucks?" Came here with my bros in dev to visit with Rico, one of my angel investors, who swore this place was the best in NY. I don't know what Rico's smoking but this place is horrible. Not one single Big Buck Hunter Game. Not even a skeeball game. Wifi is spotty at best. Drinks are flat. And this crazy old lady was staring at Rico the whole night mumbling and sticking pins in something. Awful clientele. At least the coat check was cheap -- only $10.

Julian C. Brooklyn, NY (3 stars)
Ralph Waldo Emerson once said "New York is a sucked orange." Not the Copa. It's more like a sucked guava. Because it's tropical, you see. I suppose there must have been something to recommend this place way back in the past. You get the sense there was music and passion at one point. Now it's just name tags and unwiped silverware. At least it hasn't been tagged for remodeling by some Silicon Valley jackwad. Maybe I'll try it again in the spring after they've chased the rats out. Oh, and be careful passing by that lady in the corner. If her leers don't get you her potent mix of Chanel and BenGay will.

Donald T. New York, NY (1 star)
Can't get a decent steak. Yet another Latin institution overtaken by immigrants. Sad!

Rico M. The Bronx, NY (5 stars)
Lots of great memories here: music, passion, food, fashion, homicide. This is real Old New York -- conveniently located near a Starbucks and a Subway shop. This is THE place to go -- come in for a date, go out with a BANG! (Heh heh. The fuck you looking at?)

Allen G. New York, NY (4 stars)
The crusts of a thousand old floor shows, the slopes of a hundred martini glasses. Talk to the lady in the back. She knows santeria and she's not afraid to use it.

Rex R. New York, NY (1 star)
If the legend about the Dutch buying Manhattan from Indians was true, if they ever set foot inside the Copacabana they'd be begging them to refund their beads. This is a true New York nightmare, a ghastly collision between a Grand Central Station foot locker, two lapsed nuns and a produce stand. The style is vintage Payless Shoe Source, the drinks are tepid, the attitude is Nixonesque, and the decor was designed by someone who never got over flunking geometry in grade school. A catastrophic cascade of clutter and chaos. It's only really good for people-watching, like the lady in the back who looks like Rasputin cross-dressing as Gloria Swanson. Lighten up, lady! It's not like somebody died in this joint! (Only smells like it, ha.)

Tony V. St. Peter's Gate (2 stars)
Whooooooo... I'm back, Lola! Ha-ha, j/k. Crappy DJ.

Brenda T. Des Moines, IA (5 stars)
Came here with my husband on our first trip to the Big Apple!!! What history!!! They didn't have nachos so I had something called "empanadas" and I didn't even miss the nachos!!! The music was right up my alley!!! The wait staff were accommodating and quiet!!! And this nice lady came up to me and my husband at the bar and put something in our drinks to make them taste better!!! She called it a "Mickey"!!! I'd like to shake Mickey's hand!!! Wow, my peripheral vision just went nuts!!!!!!! Love it!!!!!!!!!!!!

Stefon M. South of Houston, NY (5 stars)
This place has everything: Dumpster fires, second husbands, bantamweight title bouts, the cast of Knot's Landing in bas-relief, embittered old air traffic controllers, a lady in the back talking to a ghost everybody can see but her, and Human Scrubbing Bubbles -- it's that thing where three midgets wrapped in cellophane slither around an open manhole.

Justin P. Sunnyvale, CA (5 stars)
Hey dudes -- just got to let you all know that me and my bros BOUGHT this dump and we're turning it into a 100-screen sports bar! With tons of Megatouch games and a fully updated menu w/crazy bread and queso dip! This is going to be the most primo destination in Manhattan WITH SKEEBALL AND VIRTUAL REALITY!! Lettin' the past go, bro! A little touch of Silicon Valley in the heart of NYC! You're welcome! See you soon!

Lola B. Hell's Kitchen, NY (5 stars)
Tech bitch will pay with his life.

Antonio -- tonight we dance, mi amor.

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