Song Of The Day 12/14/2012: Yello - "Jingle Bells"

On the first day of Christmas, I give you Swiss industrialists terrorizing sitcom stars. Yello, fronted by the already-minted millionaire Dieter Meier, were '80s crackpots best known for the Emulator-jerking "Oh Yeah," which drove Matthew Broderick to complete his manic path of auto-destruction in the final moments of Ferris Bueller's Day Off. In the video of their version of "Jingle Bells," featured way past Yello's prime in the Tim Allen vehicle The Santa Clause, Meier appears as a basso profundo manipulator who takes measured delight in torturing Allen's senses. All the while, Meier delivers his philosophical musings on the childlike wonder of Christmas, which would be sweet if he didn't deliver it in the voice of a tired obscene phone-caller. He's like Joel Grey's Master of Ceremonies on a holiday dose of Robitussin, with a clear belief in his own entitlement. That's exactly what I'd expect from a neutral country like Switzerland. They're always hiding something. That's why we give them our money.

Well, we're off to a rip-roaring start here, aren't we?