Song Of The Day 4/6/2013: Harold Melvin & The Blue Notes - "I Miss You"

From the strongrooms of Philadelphia International Records, who owned the early-to-mid-'70s as far as I'm concerned, this might be the most thrilling 8-plus-minute slow jam there ever was, featuring Teddy Pendergrass on lead vocals, and Harold Melvin himself on the spoken-word second part. I love this song to pieces.

However, I have issues with the plot.

Just the plot of the spoken-word part. The beginning's fine. Melvin calls up his ex, just to see how everything's going. Seems she ran into one of their mutual friends and asked how Melvin was doing, so with that opening, he says he's mustered up his courage and is giving her a call. Then he pleads for her (well, Teddy does) to come back as the Blue Notes swell to back up his appeal.

They drop out and the conversation continues. Melvin announces, in a move that surprises even himself, that he's gotten a "gig." The woman doesn't know what that means, and Melvin says, "Oh - forgot. You're not hip to the hip talk. Plain J-O-B, baby. Working eight hours a day, all the overtime I can get." Dramatic dynamic rise, Blue Notes swell, "I can't go on without you baby." All very good.

Now, this next part of the spoken word portion, this is the one I have a problem with:

"Remember how I used to say how unlucky I done been? You know... being they got that lottery? I hit it. I'd like to kinda make up for a lot of the things that just seemed not to go right..."

Wait a minute. Wouldn't you tell your ex that you won the lottery before you tell her that you've settled down and gotten a crap job? If in fact you were to talk to anyone about this fortunate event, wouldn't it be the first thing you say? Don't bury the lead, dude! How do you not start off this whole conversation with the announcement that you've won the lottery?

"Hey. It's me. How's it going? Yeah, I talked to Danny and he said he ran into you, so I thought, what the hell, I'd give you a call and see how you were doing. He said you looked great. Are you still doing the Weight Watchers? Great. Well, keep at it! I should do something about that spare tire myself. I never met a carb I wouldn't inhale. So how's the car running? Did you ever take care of that clicking sound in the engine? Oh, you bike to work now... well, that's great. That's really good for the environment. And, and the health thing too, sure. But hey... how 'bout them Mariners? I know, right?? Mike Morse, who knew? What's that? Ah, that's right... well, I guess the whole PED thing's a part of his past. People deserve second chances, you know. Ha-ha, no, there was no double meaning behind that. Unless you want it, heh. Oh! You're never gonna believe this: I got a job through that temp agency you told me about! Yeah, yeah, Susan was totally helpful. Thanks for that. It's just busywork at this law office, data-entry type of stuff. Personal injury. You know, those hacks you see on TV at 2 in the morning. But they've been great. Everyone's either really nice or they leave me alone. The kitchen room's very clean. It's even got a hot plate, in case you wanted to have some canned soup or something, instead of nuking a Hot Pocket. I have never been a fan of those. No... it's on the East Side, but it's not bad. Covered parking, which is always nice. Not the worst job I've ever had. There's something else too, I keep forgetting, what was it, what was it... oh, that's right... I JUST WON THE FUCKING POWERBALL! I'M FILTHY RICH! COME BACK TO ME AND I'LL BUY YOU A ROOMBA!!"

Actually, now that I've typed that whole thing out... I could totally see that being effective. Never mind. Have a great day!