Song Of The Day 6/14/2013: The Godz - "Candy's Going Bad"

Now don't tell me this isn't marvelous. The Godz were from Columbus, Ohio, and went on KISS' Love Gun tour with Cheap Trick. They aren't to be confused with The Godz from the '60s, the NYC band Lester Bangs championed even as (or because) they refused to tune their guitars. Ohio's Godz came a decade later. They never made it all the way, obviously, and with their style of hard rock they weren't going to win any critic's favors, although Robert Christgau did admit, "These evolutionary mishaps are funnier than Blue Oyster Cult, and they're not trying."

Oh, but are they ever trying on "Candy's Going Bad," a 10-minute-plus cover of a Golden Earring song (that originally only ran six minutes). This cautionary screed about prostitution starts with a slowly accelerating steam-train drum beat, then goes into the story with lyrics made out of 100% real Corinthian awesome. "Candy didn't care when she started her affair with the studs and the mares of the night!" And the chorus, Jesus -- "Candy's going bad / She's got a pimp named Ted." Oh, do I remember Ted The Pimp. He was brutal. He moonlighted as an Amway rep. You do not want to run afoul of Ted The Pimp. I want that chorus stitched onto one of those old-fashioned pillows that Grandma used to knit.

The last three or four minutes of this song bring Candy face to face with the consequences of her career decision, as the whole thing devolves into a tuneless, bulbous mass of noise punctuated by what sounds like a Space Invaders machine on Klonopin. Really, how else could it resolve?

I hear the Godz have reunited and are going back to the studio. I doubt that a tour will bring them this far west, so I may have to move to Columbus.