Song Of The Day 1/12/2015: Lord Antics & the Lyons Band - "Fork She Garden"

Chaste Portraits of Caribbean Life: Hey, you don't have to tell me how immoral and decrepit contemporary music's gotten. I've seen the statistics. I've looked at salacious websites like Maxim and TMZ and Reddit and PC World. I've listened to many contemporary albums of music, some of them about 20 or 30 times, and I'm always shocked, shocked when I hear such debauchery. Sometimes I'm so shocked I have to EQ the vocals up a little higher so I can make sure I heard what I thought I heard, and you know what? I did. It's terrible, what about the children, etc.

That's why this week I wanted to restore some decency to this blog. I know it's been teetering on the edge for a few months but I don't think it's ever too late to rein it in. So I've decided to devote the next five days to songs from the Caribbean that offer simple, rustic, heartwarming and helpful vignettes of island life from not so long ago. How did we fall so far so fast, what about the children, etc.

For example, let's take Lord Antics, a simple calypso artist who recorded for Dynamic Sounds in Kingston, Jamaica. He could have sung about sex and drugs and gods besides Our Judeo-Christian Lord or any number of things, but instead he did this quaint mento number that featured several key gardening tips. How it's important to take a pitchfork and toss around the soil in one's garden as often as possible. Horticulture -- it's a lost art. Let's take it into our lungs and blow it back up.

This is going to be a great week. Welcome to my journey. Our journey.

*(If nothing else this week is going to prove how puerile and hammy I can be in the perpetuation of a joke. You can skip ahead to next week if you like.)