Other things that'll happen when an earthquake wipes out the Pacific Northwest

Not covered in The New Yorker:

• Washington State Ferries to offer new direct service to Spokane.


• CenturyLink Field to offer new split-level luxury suites.


• Bellevue Square will get a moat.


• There will be no more hipsters in Capitol Hill.


• There will be no more hipsters in Belltown.


• There will be no more hipsters in Ballard.


• The Seattle Weekly will publish an article titled "Where Have All the Hipsters Gone?"


• Initiatives to "clean up" Aurora Boulevard and South Tacoma Way will finally start reporting solid results.


• Light rail will finally come to the Eastside because it will have physically moved there.


• Experience Music Project will get perfectly even walls and ceilings.


• Extra janitorial shifts at the Dale Chihuly glass museum.


• Building height restrictions to be the same pretty much across the board.


• Jimi Hendrix Park will have new feature commemorating the time he set his guitar on fire at the Monterey Pop Festival.


• The Museum of History and Industry to offer a new virtual fantasy exhibit called "Travelling South on I-5."


• The Space Needle to be renamed "The Phonograph Needle."


• The Mariners will finish another season below expectations, but few will blame management.


• The Skagit Valley Herald will publish an article titled "What Do We Do With All These New Hipsters?"