Song Of The Day 2/9/2013: Gary 'Spider' Webb - "The Cave (Parts I and II)"

This is the two-part, epic surf-rock horror song by Gary 'Spider' Webb, who drummed on Hollywood Argyles' "Alley Oop."

When I say "The Cave" is a "horror song," I mean it's a psychological horror song. Because nothing much is happening in it, except that two kids named Jimmy and Julie are trapped in a cave, unable to see each other, but remaining so tantalizingly close that they can still hear each other. They remain in this suspended state of contact in total darkness for two days. Make that at least two days, because by the end of Part II, they're still trapped in the cave.

Oh, wait, one thing does happen towards the end of Part I: Jimmy warns Julie to "watch out for that bat!" Now, there's no explaining how he can see the bat but he can't see Julie. If he can see the bat but can't see Julie, how does he know that she's in its path? And the only reasonable answer is that Jimmy and the bat share a psychic connection. Jimmy has more of a simpatico relationship with members of the order Chiroptera than he does with his own damn species, including his girlfriend. This should really piss Julie off.

Given the lack of plot, you'd think they'd at least have a good motive for going into the cave. Maybe a hidden treasure, some interesting cave drawings, shooting an Elvis movie. But there's no good explanation as to why they're in this cave except they can be. Sounds like it was Jimmy's bright idea. Then they get separated, stranded away from each other for 48 hours. Except they're close enough to be able to exchange communication. And then it turns out Bright Boy can see goddamn bats in total darkness, but can't grope his way around the stalactites to wherever she is. What the hell? I thought this was supposed to be the Greatest Generation or something.

[UPDATE 12:14am]: Wait a minute, wait a minute. I just figured out why they went into the cave. It's obvious now. Jimmy and Julie went into the cave to do the wild thing. Why else do teenagers go to secret places? They ain't playin' Risk. They're getting it on. And societal mores being what they were when this record came out, with the need to describe the consequences to acts like pre-marital sex, their being trapped in the cave is punishment. They're outcasts. I get it now. However, this literary device still doesn't explain how they can't find their way out of this dumb-ass cave.

This story takes two parts, and nearly five minutes, to tell. The guitar and drums are pretty sweet though. Here's Part II.

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