Spoken Word Piece Of The Day 2/3/2013: Andy Griffith - "What It Was, Was Football"

It's Super Bowl Day, you guys. The closest thing we have in America to a religious pilgrimage. At approximately 6:30 Eastern, 3:30 Pacific, we'll make the arduous journey from the kitchen to the living room, and plant ourselves on the couch in supplication to Paul Brown, Vince Lombardi, and finger foods. We will watch the 49ers' freshly minted starting quarterback take on a Ravens' defense running on the fumes of Ray Lewis' retirement announcement. We will see Joe Flacco try to make a case for his being an "elite" quarterback as Patrick Willis thinks of ways to emasculate him. We will see brothers with clipboards facing off against each other for the title of Best Clipboard. We will experience the one day of the year we expect television commercials to ascend to the level of high art. If you're a red-blooded American man and you don't have buffalo wing sauce on your fingers by the second quarter, you're just tempting fate, son. Fate always wins. Fate has the better coaching staff and the freshest PED's. Accept it. See you at the purification ritual. I hear it's catered this year.