Song Of The Day 9/25/2013: Shaquille O'Neal feat. RZA and Method Man - "No Hook"

In news that I actually think is kind of cool, basketball legend Shaquille O'Neal -- who despite the many jokes I'm about to make I have a lot of sincere admiration for -- has purchased a minority stake of my hometown Sacramento Kings, ostensibly to help guide the competitive edge of their promising but emotionally complicated center DeMarcus Cousins.

Okay, first off: Coming out of a nearly catastrophic year which saw the Kings on the verge of moving to my current hometown Seattle (which I did not want to happen) before pasting construction paper together to save the team in front of still-skeptical eyes, this is the greatest PR move in Kings history. It might be the greatest in NBA history. It came from nowhere, and it came from a man who was the Kings' arch-nemesis ten years ago.  I'm sure you remember him calling the team the "Sacramento Queens," which offended a lot of people for many reasons. (See: Anthony Dixon. Then see the fabulous Richard Sherman's response.) So for a mere decade to pass between Shaq's dissing my hometown team and then riding in on a horse to really save basketball (and an arena deal) whilst renaming the town "Shaqramento" not only made my irony meter light up, it actually made it sparkle. It was sparkling. There was glitter all over it. My baby son John was transfixed.

So of course today's SOTD had to be a song from Shaq's illustrious (cough) side career (cough cough) as a rapper (flat-out hack complete with flying phlegm and a convulsion). This was credited to "Shaquille O'Neal featuring RZA and Method Man," although it really should be "RZA and Method Man Record A Track While Shaquille O'Neal Watches." Boom!

Welcome to Sacramen... I'm sorry, Shaqramento, Shaq. In all seriousness, this is a great thing for the city, so please treat my hometown right. Remember: Like this song says, you don't need no hook. And like Shaq proved, you don't need to make free throws either. BAM!

UPDATE: This is the second Song Of The Day in the last 2 months to contain the rhyme "spectacular/cardiovascular." Alan Thicke, you have way more cred than we ever gave you... cred... for.