Song Of The Day 3/16/2014: Jilted John - "I Was a Pre-Pubescent"


Jilted John's second single came in 1979 and was called "True Love." "I Was A Pre-Pubescent" was on the flip side. Stylistically it was notable for excessive Fender Rhodes usage and sounding almost nothing like the "Jilted John" song. Of particular note is the assertion that John maintained a relationship with a girl named "Jane" that lasted four years. Given that John was a pre-pubescent and this therefore all took place while he was in primary education, or the first year or two of secondary education at the latest, that is a remarkably stable romance. Probably about a fifth of our Western World marriages don't make it that long. They must have had great relationship counselors, or lunch ladies.

I like this song because it casts acne as the real enemy, and it also makes reference to words John didn't know during these years: "Fornication, copulation, menstruation, contraception, masturbation... no! No!" For some reason, they recoil in horror at "masturbation" more than the other words. It's a gateway maneuver, that's true. It's a small leap from masturbation to dancing in pairs. That's when you know it's over.

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