Song Of The Day 7/11/2014: Morris Albert - "The Throat"

Sub-Hit Wonders – The '70s: The entire week has been leading up to this moment. I know you think we peaked early with Starland Vocal Band, but I had this ace in the hole the whole time. If I could give it a more exalted spot on this blog than Friday I would.

Morris Albert is Brazilian by birth, and his one hit was so emblematic and profoundly influential I ain't even gonna mention it by name, like how they treat Voldemort. Besides, it can't even approach preparing you for his self-penned 1973 funk-lite song "The Throat." At first I thought a good five years separated "The Throat" from Albert's unctious adult-contempoary Howlitzer, but I was stunned to discover that the two were only one year apart: "The Throat" in 1973, and -- oh, I'll break down and say it -- "Feelings" in 1974 (though it was a U.S. hit in '75).

What can I say? This song makes no sense. And it has a swell time not doing it. It exists on its own menthol cumulus cloud, far above the petty concerns of common humanity and always on the lookout for stray fusilage. I can't even decipher most of the plot behind Albert's vocal reverb -- that springy, choppy decay typical to tropical pop of the '70s that, it turns out, Albert used on everything. I can't tell who "The Throat" is, but from what little cultural cues I'm able to pick up, he's some sort of vague pimp figure with laryngitis. I'm afraid delving too much more into "The Throat" would sap whatever effect it's supposed to have on me.

The person who posted this on YouTube thoughtfully provided both the vocal A-side of "The Throat" and the instrumental on the flip, so you could have a brief discussion group, or at the very least gather your considerably altered thoughts. Feelings, indeed.