Song Of The Day 9/16/2016: Glenn Sutton – “The Football Card”

The Hidden '70s, Part 3 – Our final song of the week is about football. And I apologize, because outside of work, finishing all the mixtapes (which start here tomorrow!), wrapping up Stranger Things and maintaining the semblance of participation in my children’s education, I’ve pretty much been in fantasy football mode for the last three weeks. Spreadsheets were made. Cumulative and averaged rankings for nearly 400 players. Nobody else does this. Especially when it’s not for money. It feels lonely, especially when you wind up not winning. Which is not the case with me, but it’s still pathetic. Anyway. I know a lot of my readers think professional football is for inarticulate loser globules who punch elevator buttons with their fists and bro-hug each other while bare-chested and sotted, and I want to assure you that I never, ever go around bare-chested.

Glenn Sutton was a prime architect of the countrypolitan sound. He’s already appeared in The Hidden ‘70s, in a way, as the songwriter of Tammy Wynette’s “Bedtime Stories.” He produced Lynn Anderson’s cornerstone hit “(I Never Promised You a) Rose Garden.” In 1979 he almost broke through with “The Football Card” (#46, 1979), a cautionary tale about sports betting in which he manages to squeeze in references to every single National Football League team in existence at the time. It was ’79 so not every team in existence today was around back then. For my local homers out there, Sutton makes a quick reference to the Seattle Seahawks and their first quarterback Jim Zorn. You have to wait around for it. I’m sure Raiders fans will be happy to know that their team was mentioned in another song besides “The Final Countdown” and “How Much Is That Doggie In the Window?” #takeajoke