Song Of The Day 12/21/2013: The Weather Girls - "Dear Santa (Bring Me A Man This Christmas)"

Holiday Barrage 2013: The Weather Girls were most famous, of course, for "It's Raining Men," the Paul Shaffer/Paul Jabara composition (way to represent the brand, fellow Pauls) that demonstrated the most drastic, inconvenient effect of global warming: adult males falling from the skies.

You know, wait a second. Was I the only one who saw the whole George A. Romero catastrophe involved with raining men? Would you even want a man who'd just been rained down upon you? Let's assume that he didn't just disintegrate in a shower of blood upon contact with the earth and that somehow he retained his shape and features -- wouldn't you still question his origins? If he actually did come down from an actual cumulus cloud, you're dealing with a true neophyte with no background, and likely no clue about simple human procedures that he'd have to know if he was going to be used for sexual purposes. If, rather, he was a pre-existing man who already lived on earth and was just swept up by a weather system powerful enough to lift him above the atmosphere and drop him back down in the guise of a rainstorm, well, he's pretty much a pushover, isn't he? Planning your every-day life under the threat of totally flopping in the face of simple meteorology must be impossible. What would be the point? What insurance company would even cover you? I haven't overthought this, have I?

Shaffer and Jabara revisited the topic of man delivery systems with a yuletide bent, and it's much less violent than "It's Raining Men," if perhaps just as problematic in the logistics department.


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