Endorsement Of The Day 12/10/2015: Jimmy & Gloria Stewart – “American Gas Association”

Song Of The Day Outtakes 2015 – This was cut from the goddamn postwar American dream, man! It was the late '50s. Hats were sleeker. Chin lines were smoother. The only kind of high we got was when we twirled around in our hula hoops until we were dizzy. Uncle Miltie was President and Gene Kelly was the Pope. Everyone was coming to the realization that we could seal things in containers and keep them fresh for hours. And the two desires on everyone's mind, but trapped at the portal of their lips caught in strangulation 'twixt minor convenience and rotting materialism, were ranges and gas refrigerators. But not just any range -- the Gold Star Range. And not no Commie-flag gold star, pinko -- rather, the white stars on the American flag that a fair but irritable God blessed more than any other flag in the world so in His mind, which we cannot fathom, they might as well have been gold stars. These were magical ranges, cast in the likeness of Charlton Heston and powered by gas, sweet gas. And we wanted gas refrigerators too. We wanted us as many gas refrigerators as we could fit in our kitchens. No room? Fine, we'll knock out a wall in the nursery. That damn kid's gotta stop sleeping so much anyway. We'll have two more gas refrigerators where that wall once was. We're going to stuff them all with tea pitchers and cold cuts and fruit cocktail and parfait cups and Bundt cakes and beer cans from Milwaukee and ice cream in a box and that twerp from accounting who talks a little too damn much and plutonium and cottage cheese for the wife and deer heads and I don't know what all. Thank you for choosing the American Gas Association. Watch for our new offering next spring: Methane-on-a-Stick!

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