Song Of The Day 10/3/2016: The Cosmopolitans – “(How To Keep Your) Husband Happy”

Hey gals! Here's a little gem for all you cute-as-the-dickens housewives! The Cosmopolitans were a New York band with origins as sort of a kamikaze dance group. After congealing as a band they traveled to North Carolina to record "(How to Keep Your) Husband Happy" with producer Mitch Easter, who did a lot of things that you might like. But this should be one of your favorites, because that is what I am mansplaning. Excuse me while I find my pipe. My tobacco pipe.

The lyrics to "Husband Happy" were taken from a couple of sources, the most prevalent one being a '60s exercise record from television personality Debbie Drake: How To Keep Your Husband Happy -- Look Slim! Keep Trim! Exercise Along With Debbie Drake. As you can see from the replicated cover above with a reclining husband picturing his wife in various frozen stills snapped during her workout regimen, this program was not what marriage counselors would call a two-way street. The other origin for this tune's verbiage was a checklist outlining the things a wife must do to keep her husband completely satisfied while she represses her resentment and curbs her disgust until the pharmacist gets back from vacation. I don't know exactly where this list came from, but you can look at it here. Learn up, ladies.

Note: the "Good Wife's Guide" from Housekeeping Monthly, often cited in tandem with the Cosmopolitans' hit, is reportedly a hoax. But the Debbie Drake album? Not only is it very, very real, it's also very, very available. I feel a renaissance starting in my household today, and I am refreshed anew. What station is Tom Leykis on?

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