Song Of The Day 12/24/2016: Cyndi Lauper – “Minnie and Santa”

Christmas Week - Please know right off the top that the only person in the world who can get away with this kind of song is Cyndi Lauper. I suppose she knows this because she co-wrote this neo-Pygmalion, or maybe revisionist-Pretty Woman fantasy. It's the story of a proletariat woman, probably a shopgirl, who stays up at Christmas waiting for Santa so they can double-entendre themselves into ecstasy. Key lyric: "She wrote on a card/Don't take it so hard/We're headed for the North Pole." Let me know if you need me to break that messaging down for you.

Look, it was either this or a gaggle of porn actresses singing something called "Coming for Christmas." Don't make me rethink this.