Whatever Gets You Thru the Night #33
We're in kind of a pickle here. DJ Sotto Voce has fallen behind on his biographies and we have to finish posting Season 2 before Season 3 begins (on or around March 8). We've decided to rush the final eight episodes out in the form of a dystopian fiction serial, starring DJ Sotto Voce of course. We assure you this will not happen again. Well, on second thought, let's not write that check just yet. We present, with all apologies, The Final Eight Episodes Of Season 2.
1."We used to have lunchboxes," DJ Sotto Voce complained to Clemons as he tugged his pet tapir along the desolate landscape. "If you can imagine that. Oh, Clemons - how we economized! We lined the pockets of fey, stringy men whose mission it was to compact our wares, clear our square footages, and bind our loose belongings! And now?"
DJ Sotto Voce stopped and gestured broadly at the sandy expanse, as if Clemons understood the demonstration. "Now, all we have is this blank mass. This ongoing terrestrial cliché. From industrial cathedrals to miniaturized components to this immaterial lacuna. All thanks to a gas leak at Coachella. Why didn't we listen?"
Just then a blood-red ice cream truck wobbled across the horizon, a music-box rendition of "War Pigs" tumbling out of its distorted speakers. Attached to its sides were two rubber wings, a pair of distended scalene triangles with scoops affixed to the bottom. As it ventured closer at a sickeningly deliberate pace, DJ Sotto Voce arched his head to identify the driver.
At last the truck stopped about 30 feet away, and the operator dismounted. DJ Sotto Voce saw a nearly seven-foot tall man with a matted beard, pock-marked skin, long untreated hair, a shirt made of vulture feathers, and several shovels and trowels dangling from his frame. You probably already know what this guy's angle is, but we'll tell you anyway.
To be continued.
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